"Uneasy"

     ♥ I went to a leadership training meeting at my church last night. Alex and I have recently become a part of The Avenue Church which is a brand new church in the Old Louisville area. One of pastor's told us last night that he sees the Avenue as such a blessing not because it is new, not because it is better than other churches, but that as a part of this church we have the opportunity to start fresh. Now he wasn't speaking in terms of starting fresh as "Oh I haven't been living like I should and I need a do-over." That isn't the "starting fresh" that he was talking about. You see, as a brand new church, we have the opportunity to pause and re-focus and think about the big questions that we are wrestling with every single day. 

Biblically speaking, 

What should the church look like?

What are the obligations of the church in the community?

How should relationships in the church look like?

What should leadership in the church look like?

What is biblical community?

What are the things that the church should be doing for each member?

What is the church?

At first as I was hearing these questions over the period of 6 months I thought, "Oh, that's easy. The church should look like the church I came from just in a different location." I thought that we'll do the same things, we'll talk about the same things but it will just be with different people in a different location. My thinking was completely wrong because being part of a new church and saying, "Ok, God let's start from scratch and see what your Word says," has been life-changing for me. Instead of just being a member and doing what everyone else in the church was doing, I had to pause and think for a second (ok, maybe a lot longer than a second) and truly search to see what God said about the church in His word, the Bible. 

I am still searching and one thing that we are currently talking about as church-planters who have come from wonderful local churches is the topic of biblical community and what it looks like. We all had small-groups in our previous churches. We have asked... is this biblical? Why or why not? I would have never started thinking about these things, but it truly is something you have to think about! Starting fresh has made me dig deeper into the word of God and even though I have been confident of certain things within the church as biblical I have never really looked for myself. Being a part of The Avenue has encouraged me to go deeper and genuinely study what His word says about the church as the body of Christ. 

And so... one more thing that we talked about last night was the fact that we as Christians say that we believe that God is never changing. We say that we believe it, and we can point in Scripture and read about how he was consistent over decades and generations. Then we put down our Bibles and wonder why things are different today. Are they? Yes, society and culture is "different" (whole other topic) but do we believe that God is different? Is He working just as He worked back then? Well if we believe that He is never-changing and will always be who He is then why do I sometimes feel surprised when a prayer is answered? Why am I shocked when I see Him work in someone's life who I never thought would be receptive? If He is the same then of course He would work just as He did back then. Then why am I surprised by Him? Do I really believe that He is the same and that He works in people's lives just as He always has? This is just something that I've been churning around in my mind. 

What is scary to me is that I see how God was faithful to His followers, but then I also see how He asked them to do things that weren't normal, things that they didn't want to do and made them uneasy. Time and time again through Scripture we can see "Biblical heroes" living out their faith and God revealing Himself to them while at the same time asking them to do radical things that they protested over and over again... but because they were His followers He wrestled with their hearts. And when they were obedient He revealed himself a little bit more. These "heroes" were just ordinary men and women who chose to be obedient to Him and sought Him above all things. And God revealed Himself to them in ways that they never could have imagined. My worry is that I cannot remember the last time that I wrestled with God about something that He was asking me to do that I did not want to. It is natural to not want to do the things of God. It's called human nature and sin. When telling people that I go to church and that I am a Christian becomes the "uncomfortable thing" that God calls me to do then I am afraid that there is a serious heart problem and that God may not be using me as much as I think that He is. I can't really come to a conclusion for this post so I will just share a Beth Moore video that I love. She tells a story of when the Spirit wrestled with her and no matter how hard she tried to fight her way out of what He was calling her to do she was convicted and God revealed Himself to her just like that... Why should I be surprised when He works in big ways? He is a big God, and He is my God. I hope this video wrestles with you as it did me. (It is right above this post.)

- love, briana -